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Self Doubt?

Ever hear a nagging thought that seems to drag you down? Why bother even listening to the little voice in your head that says, “You’ll never make it,” or “You don’t have what it takes,” ? Because that little voice is pretty darn smart a lot of the time. Sometimes it’s a guiding light to help you divert your path from destruction. After all, paying attention is what keeps people alive and well; ignoring is the deadlier choice.

Even more important is not to ignore the jealousy that seeps in when you see someone else succeed. Perhaps for you it’s not about getting published. No matter. ‘Any dream will do’ as the song goes. “Jealousy is a map,” says writing and life coach Julia Cameron. Don’t invite it in like a live-in boyfriend, use it as a respectful consultant. Keep your boundaries with negative thoughts. They can be useful. About as useful as gas fumes, blinking red lights, and those annoying expiration dates on milk cartons that are, incidentally, not always right.

As I write this a pop-up notification from a writer on twitter encourages my dour announcement about receiving my 6th rejection on my manuscript. “Six is not a lot,” it begins. And my nagging voice is silenced for a moment. There’s more, but I make myself wait to finish what she says at least until I finish this post, holding on to the hope that it’s wise to keep trying, or at least not stupid.

I want to document what it’s like at the bottom, at the beginning, before I’m published, behind the gate and not on the tarmac if you will, while I still cling to hope with my cheerleader voice, “You can do it!” duking it out with,”You’ll never make it.” Can you guess which one has more energy? Yeah. You’ve been to a game or two.

Author:

Artistic specialist, wonderer, idea maven, mom of four, and two more. Words and notes are my media of choice.

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