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In Love

I’m beginning to absolutely fall in love with myself.

Are you shocked? I am.

I have always regarded self-love as aberrant and sick. Now I see the opposite is true.

During a recent ongoing medical condition, while visiting a wonderful caring holistic doctor, I was encouraged to speak the following phrases to myself.

“I’m sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you.”

At first I balked. Isn’t that sidestepping the Creator to worship at some sort of self-cult?

Then. I tried it.

I found that inside myself was a starved scared, needy little soul that craved to be loved and nurtured. And I was the one to do it. No doctor could heal me, no psychologist fix it, no family member or caring friend could fill the gaping wound. God, of course, loves me but since he is in me I can love myself as he loves me and there’s nothing weird about that. He has given me myself to care for, well…myself.

I began the apply the mantra to all sorts of hurting places in the past, the present, body and soul. It was like putting salve on an aching sore, like placing a pillow of comfort under a tired mind. My illness pointed up the fact that I had not been listening to myself, that it was time to be attentive, to be sensitive, to focus on self-care. Illness will do that. It is not a scourge but a tough love reminder that we are mortal and require loving care.

I do love myself. I realized I always have, because to be is to love and be loved. It is what we exist for. The troubles of earth are not proof that we are not loved but proof that we are conditioned, made for love. That we cannot truly live and thrive without it. That love exists in us and around us. We can be in relationship with our self in love as God is in himself.

This now seems so fundamental to me that I see those that do not truly love themselves as the ones who do the most harm to others. I cannot give to others what I do not possess.

My holistic doctor then added another mantra which brings it full circle. “The love of Christ will prevail.”

Is it not so?

Author:

Artistic specialist, wonderer, idea maven, mom of four, and two more. Words and notes are my media of choice.

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