No one that I’ve ever met likes to wait. Waiting involves uncertainty, since we cannot predict the future. Science tells us that objects have ‘space’ between them. What appears ‘solid’ is, if we could see at more fine resolution, not really ‘solid’. This state can be said to have ‘possibility’. Obviously, I know next to nothing about this except that life seems to behave this way. In the middle of one event to the next there is some kind of a void we call waiting.
Today is a commemorative day of waiting. Several thousand years ago yesterday a shocking death occurred. An innocent man was put to death in the most gruesome manner. He claimed to be the Messiah of Israel, the Son of God. Many believed he was. Their hopes were dashed the day he died, the day we now call ‘Good Friday’. They must have, if they were anything like us, believed that they were wrong and everything that he talked about was just a sham, a cruel joke. Those who believed with a thin thread of hope had little to go on.
It has been my experience that when I am waiting for something to change for better in my life that I have these same fears. My imagination is often active and I think of what could go wrong or right. Sometimes, when the stakes are low, the waiting is simply a time of dullness. In either case, the waiting can feel unbearable.
It must certainly have been so for the first disciples of Jesus.
Our church has a tradition on Good Friday. After talking and singing about the death of Jesus we leave the building in silence. There is a moment when we are walking out together where the gravity of this moment in history grips me in a new way. It is as if there is nothing to say if Jesus has died and we have not yet realized the resurrection. Darkness of spirit descends.
I did not live that moment in history but in small ways we all live in that moment throughout life. Life itself can be said to be such a moment. A quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer’s book “Memories of Heaven” seems to mirror this truth,”When we enter this world, we are crying and everyone is laughing. When we leave this world, we are laughing and everyone is crying.”
We are still in the In-Between.