Those of you who know me and my husband know that the sickness I’m referring to is not as dire as this post might suggest. Many of you were my support group on facebook during a couple really bad days, and I’m so appreciative. He is, as far as I can tell, on the mend. I’m grateful.
Although I never would wish illness on anyone, there were a few ‘aha’ moments for me and I feel you all deserve to hear about them.
#1 I am a lone warrior most of the time. This is not a thing I’m proud of, and when I needed support most I realized I didn’t know where to turn. This means I have not nurtured relationships where I could help others either. My mistake and my loss.
#2 I have very little endurance in adversity. I know many friends who are courageously battling serious life-threatening illnesses either in themselves or their spouse, and are doing it with grace. I had neither grace nor courage, and at the worst possible moment I made a fool of myself. I am so fully human and this episode carved me down to size.
#3 Life has no guarantees. We do not know what a day may bring forth. How foolish to squander precious moments with loved ones as if they will last forever. I am guilty as charged.
#4 A positive attitude is a great tool in times of trouble.
#5 A positive attitude, for me, is the hardest thing to maintain, for any longer than a couple days.
#6 My husband’s health is his battle, and I am support, not his mother.
#7 Great things come out of hard things. During one of his worst days he told me the sweetest thing he’s ever said.
#8 I do have wonderful supportive friends.
#9 God’s voice can be heard. I seem to hear him more lately. How much have I missed?
#10 I never stop needing to grow. Life will reliably assist in that growth if I am honest with myself.