It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.
My husband and I were preparing to serve as Dj /coordinators at a wedding. One of the diciest details is meshing the two songs the couple want for a special dance. When putting two songs together, you must fade one out and bring the other in at just the right moment. He was working on this, and I attempted to give him some advice. There is a special kind of bossiness that we reserved, introvert types keep in our personality wine cellar. I was, after all, trying to keep track of the big picture and keep him from getting lost in the minute details. He returned with a slightly sharp edge to his tone that he was doing it the way he should. My conflict sensors being ruffled, I turned down the heat in my tone and backed out gradually. It was time to let his instinct rise and backpedal mine.
My brother had just walked into the room and I felt instantly embarrassed that he should witness a mucky marriage moment. I knew however that he was intimately acquainted with muck and would not pass judgement.
Then it occurred to me that this fading out of one and fading in of another was exactly what keeps marriage fluid and flexible. There had been plenty of times that he had faded out his own opinion and given rise to mine, but in this instance it was my turn to fade.
In the blending of two there is a beautiful synthesis, and the two become one.